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CHRISTFUCKER

by portrayal of guilt

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    Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

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1.
CHRISTFUCKER.
2.
Survivors stray, walking in strange form. The fields burn and the sky turns black. Ashes stain my hands, I want my sins erased. Pale bodies line the floor on the night of this ritual. Lured by lust, poisoned by fear. Tortured and beaten. Fog layers the ground as darkness shows its face. Walk this mile of agony and you will find God at the ends of the earth. Can you hear me now, in these dreams of sacrifice? Can you feel me now, in these dreams of sacrifice?
3.
Sadist 02:58
Carve your name into my skin. The lacerations open as she drags the glass down my arm, leaving the shard stained in blood. The air grows cold. I couldn't bear it. I couldn't bear reality. Her tongue caresses the open wound, I feel her hands wrap around my neck. Bringing a sense of stillness, the wind passes through the broken window above as I suffocate to death.
4.
My time has come, this holy moment. I cut my wrists and feed the starving souls. The angels are weeping. I descend. Mutilated from the inside out, where cruel intentions lie. You will be my sacrifice. Where were you when God took their last breath? On this fragile table of nude posed bodies, floors lined with human flesh. You will be my sacrifice. When I arrive in Hell, the demons kneel for me. Bodies fill a mass grave dug by shackled angels. Acid rain pours from the sky, washing myself of this shame. This shame I've carried, weighing me down. Weighing my life down.
5.
Dirge 02:38
I remember this moment vividly. Your hanging body behind the bedroom door. The deafening sound of the train passing by, I begin to collect myself as I stare out the window. Before I grab my gun from the closet and set it on the bed, I sit for a moment. Staring into your lifeless eyes, wondering what led you to this. I can't live without you. I can't live. I put the gun in my mouth and take one last look at you. One last breath, I close my eyes.
6.
Bed of Ash 02:08
The demons grasp me by the feet while the angels' hands descend from the skies above to save my soul. I find myself in limbo between a life of misery and self-sacrifice. My body decays in this bed of ash. I can finally rest, leaving my memory in the past. In this bed of ash.
7.
Startled awake by the footsteps in the hallway, I look down to find my hands and feet chained to the floor below. The echo fills the room, an odd excitement. I try not to make a sound. The Devil calls my name. A shadow approaches. My body aches for pleasure. My mind aches for happiness. You can't take this from me. Steel to my bones like a hammer to a nail. A euphoric pain. Torture me the right way. My eyes open, the walls cave in. An attractive essence. A dark, brooding aura hovering above me. Light the cross and let it burn.
8.
Master/Slave 02:35
Bound by chains and wire, the whip tears my back. Constantly cutting, I lay unbearably silent. The wire catches my neck as I begin to fall. Internally I bleed as I choke on my own blood. Irresistible temptation. Holding still, I grow eager. I beg for you. I live for this hateful love. The ground approaches. I hear one final sound. My body hits the floor. I'll never forgive myself. Talk to the Devil and they will appear.
9.
Spiraling down the staircase, straight to Hell. The pain is torturous. This is my sick fantasy, where the suffering never ends. Where the ceilings constantly bleed. In this vile cold dark room. Shackled hands, chained to the wall. How do I end this right now? I bash my head into the concrete until my skull caves in. Until I'm dead inside. I want to feel this pain pouring out of my eyes. I fall to the floor. My body grows numb. Eyes wide open, here I lie alone. The room is silent, not even a sound. I'm begging for an end. Just burn it all down.
10.
Possession 04:02
She turns me on my back, limbs tied to the ends of the bed frame. She holds the knife to my neck, grazing my skin. Threatening to cut me from ear to ear. Before I had time to speak, it was already clear. I close my eyes, not even a whimper. A sea of memories. A life of shame. A gloomy presence crawls from the corner. Gathering behind her. Entering her body. Tears pour from her eyes as she stares into the void. Her skin turns pale as the room grows darker. I feel her anxiety. I feel her agony. I feel her desire to find her pain a new home in me.

credits

released November 5, 2021

Produced by Ben Greenberg
Mastered by Ted Jensen
Artwork by Matt King

Electronics and noise by Mack Chami, Ben Greenberg & P.O.G.
Additional vocals on “Sadist” by Jenna Rose
Additional vocals on “Fall from Grace” by Jeremy Bolm

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